The Telegraph
With five Olympic gold medals, a knighthood, and an estimated fortune of £13 million, Bradley Wiggins once seemed to have it all.
However, in June, the former sports star was pronounced bankrupt, facing debts exceeding £1 million. This revelation indicated he was homeless and couch-surfing at his ex-wife’s place after losing his £975,000 house.
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At 44, he candidly discussed his struggles with depression, issues with alcohol, and how his 19-year-old son Ben once feared for his life as he secluded himself in a dark hotel room last November.
In an emotional episode of The High Performance Podcast, he revealed, “I faced some incredibly tough times. The most challenging moment was nearly a year ago, though I won’t delve into specifics.
“I found myself in a very gloomy state, confined to a hotel room for days; it was ultimately my son who stepped in and helped me recognize the destructive habits I had fallen into.
“There were numerous hidden reasons for that.”
“I have always struggled with something that brought me pain and made it hard to find peace; there always seemed to be a looming cloud. Yet, I’ve come to accept that a clear path may never reveal itself.
“I’ve realized we’re born into trials, and how we manage through those trials ultimately defines our lives.”
“Initially, I was reluctant to seek therapy. I thought to myself, ‘No therapist could ever truly comprehend what goes on in my head’.”
He has indicated that he currently resides in a “happy place” and aims to recover a significant part of the debt amassed by his company, now totaling £2 million following his bankruptcy.
Wiggins identified an unforeseen source of support – disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.
The seven-time Tour de France winner – who had his titles stripped and received a lifetime ban for admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs – has become a close friend and recently offered to cover his therapy expenses for the first time.
Brave Sir Bradley Wiggins confronts the profound sexual abuse he endured as a child at the hands of an older cycling coach
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Initially reluctant to accept the offer, he now feels more mentally equipped to embrace this path.
He reflected, “Lance has shown immense support in recent years, particularly this year. We talked about the idea of therapy, and he’s offered to fund my week-long stay at a notable facility in Atlanta.”
“He is someone with good intentions. His past mistakes, while regrettable, do not entirely define him. He does indeed have a caring side.”
Struggles with Alcohol
Bradley began to address his mental health issues two years ago, which were magnified by a difficult childhood that included experiences of sexual abuse from a former coach.
His father, Gary, a cyclist, struggled with alcoholism and drug dependency, leaving the family when Bradley was merely 18 months old, only to re-emerge when Bradley turned 19, after achieving considerable success in cycling.
However, even after their reconnection, his father harshly claimed that Bradley would “never match your old man’s greatness.”
In one of my low points, I threw all my trophies from the mantelpiece because I thought, ‘What purpose do these meaningless items serve?’
Bradley
From ages 13 to 16, Bradley endured sexual abuse from coach Stan Knight, who died in 2003.
Throughout his illustrious career, he won eight Olympic medals, including five golds, and became the first Briton to triumph in the Tour de France in 2012.
Yet, after retiring in 2016, he realized that cycling had served as a distraction from his painful past, and his issues returned with even more intensity.
In a recent discussion on this week’s High Performance podcast, he acknowledged that the abuse has left a lasting mark on him, but he has learned how to manage it over the past year.
He stated: “I genuinely feel I’m in the best place I’ve been at 44 years old.”
“This has largely stemmed from my experiences navigating through hardships and overcoming bleak times for various reasons.”
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“I used to blame my success for my problems, but I now understand that it is a lot more intricate, encompassing multiple factors. The past five years have involved untangling that in my mind.”
“I’ve taken responsibility for my life, and I refuse to point fingers at others.”
My Son’s Impact
When queried about what drove his new sense of responsibility, he credited Ben, his 19-year-old son, who is also pursuing cycling, for rescuing him from a “very dark place” on November 20 last year—the day that also marked the 71st birthday of Bradley’s father, who was tragically murdered in 2008.
His father succumbed to a head injury following a fight at a party in New South Wales, Australia, and there were no charges filed in relation to his death.
After the hotel incident, Ben voiced his concerns that he might one day receive a call about his father’s possible suicide.
Initially, Bradley thought that opening up about his struggles would act as a coping mechanism, but he soon discovered it had the opposite effect.
He explained: “As I narrated my story, I began to perceive myself as a martyr – positioning myself as someone who had endured struggles and could guide others while overlooking my requirement for help.”
“Two years ago, I assumed I was handling things well, but in reality, I was engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors – smoking, drinking, and pretending everything was okay. However, I am genuinely progressing now.”
He depicted himself as an “avoider,” someone who buried his traumatic past while striving for success in cycling. But after reaching the pinnacle of his career in 2012, securing his fifth Olympic gold and subsequently winning the Tour de France, he felt an emptiness.
“Winning Olympic gold, standing on the podium after the Tour de France just days prior, leaving as the champion, and asking myself ‘What comes next?’ and struggling to handle that,” he reminisced.
“That day was irreplaceable, given its importance and the millions who cheered from the sidelines, igniting a cycling boom.”
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“You know, The Sun was giving away sideburns that day on the front pages.”
A Very Dark Phase
Later that year, Bradley was honored with the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award and was knighted during the 2013 New Year Honours. Despite this, he subsequently redirected his struggles into his achievements.
He recounted: “During one of my darkest times, I destroyed all my trophies off the mantelpiece because I thought, ‘What worth do these have?’
“I cast away my Sports Personality of the Year award and my knighthood – symbols that were meant to affirm my brilliance, yet I struggled with their representation of my worth in my family and society concerning success.”
“I aimed to demonstrate – in a profoundly misguided manner while intoxicated – that these items were worthless, mere remnants of junk.”
The profound anguish that prompted me to question my existence stemmed from the sexual abuse I endured for three years at the hands of my first coach.
Bradley
“There were many such incidents during that span.”
When asked if he now experiences pride in himself, the father of three replied affirmatively, “Yes,” adding that he certainly could not have said that a year ago.
“I take pride in the person I am evolving into. I believe I’m a good father to my kids.”
Alongside Ben, Bradley has an 18-year-old daughter named Isabella from his marriage to Cath, which ended four years ago, and a three-year-old daughter named Ava Joy with Laura Hartshorne, with whom he has also separated.
While he previously viewed his cycling accomplishments as products of his adversities, he now believes they have “saved his life” and wouldn’t wish to alter anything about that.
“Cycling genuinely protected me in numerous aspects. I’m unsure what my life would be like today without it.”
“I wouldn’t change anything about my journey thus far, as our responses to life’s events mold our character. I believe my most significant years are still ahead.”
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“I believe that greatness emerges from overcoming obstacles and surviving tough situations. I’ve encountered many successful individuals, many of whom have a ‘damaged’ past.”
Confronting the Past
He underscored the profound influence of his history, stating: “The main factor that affected me, and a significant reason I struggled with a will to live, stemmed from the sexual abuse I endured from my first coach over three years.”
“After avoiding acknowledgment of that truth for three decades, I came to realize it played a crucial role in my achievements by providing distraction during those years.”
“Yet, upon retiring, I developed resentment towards cycling, blaming it for introducing me to that individual.”
After an interview with The Times last summer, four other individuals came forth, claiming they were victims at the same cycling club.
That experience felt liberating, as it granted essential external validation.
In the past, I resorted to alcohol, thinking it helped me cope with my introversion, but it only exacerbated my anxiety.
Bradley
“The intricacies of this situation are extensive. My relationship with my father and growing up without a paternal figure—especially since he was murdered in 2008—holds great weight.”
Bradley claims that he never experienced love in his early years due to his father’s absence, and after his departure, his mother became involved with a man who was “quite abusive” towards him.
He recounted: “My father left when I was just one and a half. I met him again at 19 when he returned to my life following my successes.”
“One memorable remark he made soon after reconnecting was, ‘Don’t forget you’ll never be as great as your old man.’ This thought lingers in my mind and is part of my healing process.”
An Unexpected Support
Discussing the generous offer from his newfound ally Lance Armstrong, he mentioned he is contemplating accepting the offer.
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He recalled his initial response to Armstrong’s therapy offer, stating: “At first, I thought, ‘I don’t require help – how dare you, but I appreciate the suggestion.’
“That discussion took place five months ago, and now I’m contemplating reaching out and asking, ‘Is that offer still available, Lance?’
“I wanted to restore some order in my life independently. If I could improve on my own, without relegating my recovery solely to professional assistance, that was vital to me. I genuinely sought to establish my footing.”
“Now, I better understand what I wish to address in therapy, focusing on my behavioral patterns and uncovering the root causes of these feelings while exploring those issues.”
“I did not want to approach therapy as if pleading, ‘Fix me.’”
“I will always honor my past. My past has been inexorably linked to my identity today. What I need to manage is not to be anchored by the past but to redefine my bond with it.”
People were leveraging my name from various perspectives, and I was oblivious because I was solely concentrating on cycling.
Bradley
“I possess a clear vision for my personal objectives.”
“Happiness is a fleeting emotion that ebbs and flows, but contentment is something I’ve discovered to be deeply more substantial.”
“I no longer consume alcohol, having refined my decision-making skills. My thought processes have become healthier.”
“Previously, I felt compelled to drink because I perceived myself as introverted, believing it alleviated my anxiety – in truth, it merely intensified it.”
Wiggins expressed confidence in his ability to stabilize his finances after declaring bankruptcy in June, revealing last week that his company’s debts had skyrocketed to £2 million, double the earlier estimate.
Once estimated at £13 million, he has lost his £975,000 family home, his residence in Majorca, and has been utilizing couches, occasionally hosted by his ex-wife.
Nonetheless, he informed interviewers Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes: “There was significant professional negligence, and several upcoming cases should enable me to reclaim a sizable amount.”
The full interview will be accessible on The High Performance Podcast across all major platforms.
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